I'm not sure what's happening, but it seems this lurking sickness which has become more and more aggressive in the past 2 weeks is actually Mononucleosis. Damn.
I don't really know what to say.... so many things are floating above me right now, and I can see them swimming there, hazy and slow-motionless, and separate from me. I know this is happening; I know that I feel horrible and I know that I would love to transport myself home right now -- snapping my fingers into the warm comfort of something "home." But I have to sign some paperwork, deal with some technicalities, and struggle through the next couple days, on the other side of which will be... what? A different bed to lie in.
Is that all, I wonder? Am I turning in the keys of my big 20-something adventure for a familiar-smelling blanket and 4-8 weeks of deep sleep? What a trade. And yet, that's all I can think of right now... that is all, I'm sad to say, that sounds appealing to me. The sickness is talking and the exhaustion is consuming. The stress of this life, which perhaps aggravated the illness, which now blooms its own stresses, is consuming. For now, packing.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
falling in
Seoul is absolutely beautiful in the fall. Even through the rainy haze of our most "horrible" days, I still feel optimistic and creative. The cold air infuses my body with possibility, and I have to think that everything is going to work out. Life is far from perfect here (or anywhere) but it is pretty darn good, especially when I keep in perspective the amazing thing I'm doing that I will no doubt remember for the rest of my life.
This weekend I went to the HiSeoul festival, which is a huge collection of nonverbal performances, celebrating the city and everyone in it (of all cultural backgrounds). I was blown away by the two performances we saw, both integrating traditional Korean folk music in different ways -- one through modern b-boy dancing and the other with stunning drum combinations. I wasn't allowed to document the event... but of course I broke that rule anyway! I managed to take some really fun photos of the b-boys and also recorded the audio from this folk chanting...
I was really moved by their voices working together -- I only wish I had any clue what they are saying. The b-boys, however, were easier to understand.
Mostly, it was great to spend time with people that I genuinely enjoy. I don't know how many of you know this, but I am shamefully picky with people. Seriously, despite my high tolerance for society (on a good day), I have a low tolerance when it comes to my personal relationships. I would rather spend time with myself then waste energy talking to people that bore me, annoy me, or just don't inspire and provoke me. I need stimulation, and I will find it on my own if there's no one around who fits my standards (yes, haha, etc). At any rate, I was satisfied with this weekend's company and I am thankful for that. Relationships are more important to me than anything, and I include in that generalization the relationship I have with myself. In other news, it appears THAT is on the upswing as well. Win win!
My goal this week is to enjoy teaching more, maintain a friendly tolerance for those that frustrate me at school, and to remember that I am human being that grows forward, with purpose. Simple goals, no?
This weekend I went to the HiSeoul festival, which is a huge collection of nonverbal performances, celebrating the city and everyone in it (of all cultural backgrounds). I was blown away by the two performances we saw, both integrating traditional Korean folk music in different ways -- one through modern b-boy dancing and the other with stunning drum combinations. I wasn't allowed to document the event... but of course I broke that rule anyway! I managed to take some really fun photos of the b-boys and also recorded the audio from this folk chanting...
I was really moved by their voices working together -- I only wish I had any clue what they are saying. The b-boys, however, were easier to understand.
Mostly, it was great to spend time with people that I genuinely enjoy. I don't know how many of you know this, but I am shamefully picky with people. Seriously, despite my high tolerance for society (on a good day), I have a low tolerance when it comes to my personal relationships. I would rather spend time with myself then waste energy talking to people that bore me, annoy me, or just don't inspire and provoke me. I need stimulation, and I will find it on my own if there's no one around who fits my standards (yes, haha, etc). At any rate, I was satisfied with this weekend's company and I am thankful for that. Relationships are more important to me than anything, and I include in that generalization the relationship I have with myself. In other news, it appears THAT is on the upswing as well. Win win!
My goal this week is to enjoy teaching more, maintain a friendly tolerance for those that frustrate me at school, and to remember that I am human being that grows forward, with purpose. Simple goals, no?
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