I'm not sure what's happening, but it seems this lurking sickness which has become more and more aggressive in the past 2 weeks is actually Mononucleosis. Damn.
I don't really know what to say.... so many things are floating above me right now, and I can see them swimming there, hazy and slow-motionless, and separate from me. I know this is happening; I know that I feel horrible and I know that I would love to transport myself home right now -- snapping my fingers into the warm comfort of something "home." But I have to sign some paperwork, deal with some technicalities, and struggle through the next couple days, on the other side of which will be... what? A different bed to lie in.
Is that all, I wonder? Am I turning in the keys of my big 20-something adventure for a familiar-smelling blanket and 4-8 weeks of deep sleep? What a trade. And yet, that's all I can think of right now... that is all, I'm sad to say, that sounds appealing to me. The sickness is talking and the exhaustion is consuming. The stress of this life, which perhaps aggravated the illness, which now blooms its own stresses, is consuming. For now, packing.
Em, I'm so incredibly sorry to hear this is happening. I suppose the best that can be said is you seem to have made good use of the time you had there and it's better than nothing. But I know that that's still shitty and not ideal. I hope you get things wrapped up smoothly and make it back home safely.
ReplyDeleteThis, too, shall pass---and when you're well again, you'll look back with fresh perspective at all that you learned--- and be reminded of your amazing ability to cope under the most difficult of circumstances. Your bed awaits!
ReplyDeleteAfter plenty of hugs first!!
Hang in there weary adventuress---you'll be home soon!
We love you! mom and dad
damn you, mono!!! but your parents are right, a cozy bed and lots of hugs await you, and that is a glorious thing.
ReplyDeletelove you kitty!
Oh no! I hope you feel better soon and have all the stress go away! Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteTina
www.justatinabit.com
Feel better!
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Natalie Off Duty